May. 13th, 2017

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I had to shop for cards for my mother-in-law this year--it's the sort of thing I do, getting cards for my husband and sons to sign. I do it for birthdays too, and pick up thank you notes for them as well. I know I should make them get their own, but left to their own devices who *knows* what sorts of cards they'd get, hah.

But it was hard this year for me because I miss my mother. I know a few of you are in the same boat so I know you'll understand how it feels to stand in front of a huge display of cards and know you can't send or give one anymore to her. To let her know how much you love her and honestly, how much you still grieve for her.

So I blinked a lot and tried to pull myself together so I could select the cards for my mother-in-law. I love her too of course. She's a wonderful woman that I love as well, but despite being a mother, she wasn't *my* mother. I felt very alone in that moment and I'm sending out a long virtual hug to all of you who share my situation. Damn you Hallmark, American Greetings and all the other companies who can make us feel like crap once a year.

My mom wasn't one for sentimental cards, not at all. The funnier the better, and if the card was even slightly raunchy or bizarre she'd adore it. She saved them, and there was a file folder with her favorites in it, some of them yellowing with age. I remember making some by hand of course, but lots more were store-bought. My sisters and I looked through them one last time as we were cleaning out things.

Memories.

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